Spouse Approval - Because it's Usually Not a Solo Voyage

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August 10, 2020

Spouse Approval - Because it's Usually Not a Solo Voyage

Do you want to blow up the best laid acoustical plan the world has ever known?  Try leaving your co-habitant out of the process and you can kiss your dreams buh-bye. We are not going to pretend we are an authority on the subject. Nevertheless, we feel strongly about addressing the issues and knew it needed to be on our to-do list as much as a 24” level.  

Since we are all struggling with this and no one would dare claim they have this figured out, we’ll tackle the subject more as a resource guide providing understandings and various strategies rather than a “how to”.  Kind of a “thinking persons” approach. We hope you find it valuable.

Walk a mile.

We hate to be stereotypical but will be – author Christine Burke starts us off with a woman’s point of view in this article published in 2016/17 on the Scary Mommy web site.  It’s a shorty and frames the discussion around a big remodel but there is some valuable perspective to be learned.

Your home is your sanctuary. All of it…

You should take a day with finger cymbals, a mini gong and sandalwood incense to think how important this single fact is. Use it as a mantra.  Oh, don’t forget – you’ll be stacking rocks.  Since Real Simple is a well-traveled website you’ll be fending off “paid ads” vollys frequently.  Still, a worthwhile list of 6 keys with solid references that may reopen the “hire a pro…” discussion again to buffer you and your partner from each other and keep on best behavior. Read.

Brave do-it-yourselfers still need ground rules.  A must read.

We found this 2015 10 step program on Blesserhouse.com’s website that feels like it just came out of the oven.  Timeless and relevant for both participants.  Copy and paste this URL and send it to your partner to show your investment in the process is the equal of your project.  Well done.

Recognizing the key pieces of the process.

By now you start to hear things twice which means they can be considered believable (but don’t stop here). Originally published by the writers of and on The Family Handyman this Reader’s Digest version of this article brings another set of keys you can toss into the acoustics project punch bowl. Remember Reader’s Digest before the Internet? Anyway, bring these ideas to the table and you’ll feel like Dr. Ruth.

“A litmus test…”

How can this be a credible resource without at least one article by Psychology Today?  Simple, it can’t. Dr. Roberta Satow, Ph.D applies her professional input in this article aptly named: Renovation and Couples Conflict to help you with the issues in play with your desire for some good ear.  Short and sweet so no skipping this one.

Our experience.

Almost universally the final decisions, based on our 20 plus years at this, is it comes down to very practical decisions like color, component design.  We know this because we send samples all the time because blue on a web site vs. blue in a catalog vs. the actual blue color acoustical component are all different and none of them may complement the blue embroidery on the curtain gathers or sofa throw pillows.  Likewise, acoustical components with vertical design lines might clash with a room’s horizontal feng shui or mysteriously reveal the fact that your listening positions are facing the wrong direction.  The only defense is a strong offense.  Why risk returning multiple pallets of components when color and component design samples could be ordered facilitating decisions that are made together.

There is one other option that can serve in the place of failed cooperation but it’s not our favorite because it doesn’t serve others on the path to acoustical bliss nor our financial growth.  The other option is, of course, the man-cave or “person-cave” designation.  It’s like a DMZ.  What happens in there is their decision and one lays no claim to the decisions on the other side of the line, unless the room was positively complemented on…  It’s a DEFCON 4 approach but has a history of success.

Whatever and however your path to acoustical bliss, be calm and one with the process,  Consider a tree hug, a smile and a studied look at those magazines in the bathroom literature rack.  

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